A few months back I asked myself the following question...
"What Point Of View about Money do I have I don't know or remember I have that's creating my financial reality as it currently is?
Money has always been a strange area in my life. I have had moments where I had lots of money and moments were I was homeless and had all of $0.27 cents in my pocket. I never could quite "figure out" how to live here in this reality. I grew up in a family were we lived like we had tons of money when in reality my parents did not (they kept getting loans and refinancing the house I grew up in). Over the years my family sold the house, moved to Oregon, bought another house, then lost the house to foreclosure. Personally I have had money show up like magic out of no ware when there was something I REALLY desired and chose to do (like take Access Consciousness classes and become Bars Facilitator), and other times where there were things I REALLY desired to do and knew would contribute to me, and the money never showed up. I have had moments of struggle, moments like right now where I'm doing off the wall mini jobs under the table just to survive and make $3.00 a day (yes way UNDER the minimum wage). If someone chooses to come to me to teach them Bars then that's $200 or $100 per student. Cool! How does it get any better than that? In short doing whatever I have to. I have ups and downs in money frequently. Generally I will allow enough in to pay for what I absolutely must if money is the only way Ill get it, then I get rid of the extra so I go back to not having it. What the hell is going on???
So back to me driving home: I am at a stop light when out of noware the following "thought" popped into my head...
What if my finances are as they are because I am intentionally choosing to experience what it is like to live WITHOUT money?
I hit the gas and keep driving down the road when the light turns green, then next I ask myself:
"In other lifetimes, have I always had more money than I could possibly spend?"
Yes
I got the awareness of how in other lifetimes where I always inherited it, or if I was born into a poor family I was married into a rich family, or born to parents with billions and billions of gold, or born into royalty, or born into a family that already invented something that generated and created lots of money, or "struck oil" or whatever it was.
"In all those lifetimes did I always have so much money I could pay someone else to do everything for me? And thus, I have never had to do or generate and create anything, including money, for myself before?"
YES.
Think of it this way.... as an Infinite Being, you can choose to be and do anything. Put yourself in this space: nothing can hurt you and you can have or do whatever you choose when you choose it. So lets say you have never done or experienced something before and you go "Hey! I wonder what that is like?" Like when you are a kid and you do something (stupid) like put your finger in a electrical socket to experience what an electric shock is like. Or you do something once to see what its like simply due to never having experienced it before. So I have been and done HAVING money before, lets try something new!
What if, I have never NOT had money before?
Next I asked:
"Did I come into this lifetime to experience what living WITHOUT money was like because I have never experienced what that was like before?"
(This was when the tears started to flow).... YES!
"Did I come into this lifetime with the intention to learn how to generate and create my own money myself and do things for myself and what it is like to live that way as I have never had to do that before?"
YES!
GAH!! OWWWWWCCCCHHHH!!!! Owowowowowowow!!!!! Oweeeee!!!!! GAHH!
I pull into the driveway crying and laughing historically at the same time, and all the dense crap energy I had my whole life went *POOF*!
Ok Universe! I claim, own, and acknowledge that I chose that! POC n POD that!
Now mind you I also noticed I seem to have come in here this lifetime on the "Novice Easy Level"setting for "Living without money" experience..... I always have made sure I had everything my body required to live. I always had at least a car with the heat or air conditioner to live it when things got "bad." I would get rid of the money so it made things more difficult so I can still experience what it is like.
I also realize I had the Point of View that I chose to come in here this time around and experience not having money due to a past lifetime where I was very wealthy (and a bit of a asshole in that life and since I had so much money it was always there, yet I also was not grateful for it being there.) and met someone who had no money. They asked me for money for food and I turned them down as then I had the POV they were just too lazy to "earn it" themselves. The next day I felt bad about how I behaved and went to go find the person to give them the money and apologize for how I treated them. I found out he had killed himself. In that moment I blamed me and judged myself for the whole thing and that was when I decided come back with no money to experience what it was like to live without it, with the point of view that having money was a wrongness. (Instead of just acknowledging "Ok! So I can be an asshole sometimes! How does it get any better that that?)
Ok, I claim, own, and knowledge I chose that. POC and POD that. Tonight I'm grateful for my life as it has been and for what I chose to put myself through.
Thank You. Now what would it take to change this? Ok I get it now, not having money sucks. What would it take for me to have so much money I can't possibly spend it all in this lifetime again?
What is YOUR reason for the crazy shit you do or do not do with money?
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